Pink and Fluffy Pictures
by LadyToFu
Summary: Side story to Friends Forever. Sasuke is on an A rank mission...but something just isn't right...


Sometimes, Sasuke understood why Itachi had gone crazy and killed everyone. It didn't happen often, but once in a while--when he'd been chased around the village one too many times by rabid fan girls or when Naruto decided Sasuke's room needed "personality" i.e. Icha Icha pin-ups and ramen posters--Sasuke felt a whisper of understanding for his older brother.

Right now was one of those times.

Sasuke unconsciously smoothed down the front of his voluminous skirts, and felt a vein throb in his head as he realized the sheer girliness of what he was doing.

At least, he tried to comfort himself, no one's here to see this.

It just wasn't cool to be that girly, damn it, and he was Uchiha Sasuke, epitome of "cool guy". Well, not at the moment. At the moment he (an ANBU captain and one of the most powerful ninjas in the world) was Rinko-chan, an innocent (and very tall) young woman from Earth country making her way through the kingdom of Fire in order to fulfill her dreams of becoming a professional singer. Sighing, Sasuke waved a slender, manicured hand toward the bar tender. There were certain distinct disadvantages to continuing a rivalry with the future hokage, not to mention the favorite ninja of the current hokage...

"Oh baby! Aren't you the pretty one? How about I buy you a drink?" asked a sleazy looking guy approaching Sasuke from behind.

"No thank you, sir," Sasuke managed to squeak out through gritted teeth. He focused his attention on again trying to hail the bartender and determinedly ignored the man. They usually went away if you ignored them long enough. He had certainly dealt with this exact scenario enough times over the last two days to know.

_As soon as this mission is over, I'm coming back and killing them all. A-Rank reconnaissance mission, my ass..._

This was all that dobe's fault. He had probably suggested Sasuke for this mission. Sasuke couldn't think of any other reason Tsunade had assigned it to him instead of a real kunoichi. He was really too tall to be easily mistaken for a girl, he didn't play the innocent easily, and he definitely did not sing. Really, the only complicated part of the mission was spotting the mark, but any chuunin could have done it.

And there was certainly no reason for the sheer frilliness (not to mention pinkness!) of the costumes! The dress he wore at the moment had to have four layers of skirts, at least, all ruffled and candy pink with pillowy princess sleeves to match. Of course, that was slightly better than the glittery ballerina costume from yesterday but...

"Are you sure? Because I've always wanted to bag me a tall 'un."

"No, thank you. I'll be alright, sir."

Sasuke sensed the man approaching closer instead of going away.

_The guy's persistent._

Silently, Sasuke closed his eyes and counted to ten. He wasn't allowed to gut people during this mission. He was only supposed to gather information about the area and meet a man who would hand him a letter, he reminded himself.

"Come on, baby. Why else would you be all prettied up if you're not waitin' for a big strong man? I mean, lookit that leg..."

Suddenly, Sasuke felt a rough hand reach up his skirt and opened his eyes with a start.

Mission be damned, the man was dead. _Dead, dead, dead!_ Sasuke's mind screamed as he reached for a kunai hidden in a shiny pink wrist sheath.

A harsh whisper stopped him. "Tsk. Sasuke-kun, put that away before anyone sees you. A jounin and you can't even complete a simple mission?"

Sasuke froze. The voice sounded familiar. He felt the heavy weight of a scroll tucked in underneath his skirt where the rough hand had been moments earlier, and knew that his hearing was correct. The blond hair, nondescript brown eyes, and thin-lipped, crooked grin definitely did not belong to anyone he knew, but Sasuke should have known better. He activated his Sharingan enough to really Look at the sleazy man. He had masked his chakra so well, that Sasuke had been completely fooled, but...

"Asuma-sensei," Sasuke whispered back, "you're my mark?"

The sleazy man, and the apparently sleazy teacher underneath the sleazy man, smirked and nodded. The vein throbbed anew in Sasuke's head as certain facts clicked together in his head like the last pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. "The reason I needed to come in a skirt?"

"Ah, well..." Sasuke noticed that Asuma at least had the decency to look sheepish underneath his jutsu. "I forgot our last anniversary, so I owe Kurenai a really super birthday present, and it's sort of been one of her life-long goals..."

Sasuke furtively glanced around the bar. "Kurenai-sensei is...?"

"Well, no," Asuma replied, "she just wanted the pictures."

Yes, sometimes Sasuke understood Itachi perfectly...

"Ah, but Sasuke-kun," starting to sweat a little underneath his jutsu. Understandable, thought Sasuke, since he could feel the way his Sharingan had begun to spin, "that message really is important, so could you please get it back to the hokage immediately?"

Sasuke nodded once, slightly, and made sure to run into Asuma, hard, as he exited the bar. He also managed to steal the camera and film in Asuma's right vest pocket (you could extract _so_ much information with advanced Sharingan jutsus...) in the process and reassured himself with the thought that he would destroy both with a violent fire as soon as he was safely in Leaf. Which was only what Asuma deserved, Sasuke thought bitterly, glaring at the glittery pink Mary-Janes on his feet.

At least, he thought, shaking his head, it had all taken his mind off of Hinata for a while. Thinking of Hinata, Sasuke paused in his flight for a moment and sighed. Kurenai-sensei had always stood-up for the girl, and Sasuke had appreciated her for that... Grimacing, Sasuke carefully pocketed the roll of film and continued to run.

Without her, Hinata would have given up becoming a kunoichi time and time again.

_Maybe I'll let her have one photo._


End file.
